An Exchange Between a Parent and a Board Member
Dear Superintendent Sebert and School Board members,
The international hubbub arising from the bottom end of Larchmont Avenue–my spouse’s elementary alma mater–brings to mind the fable of the Sorcerer’s Apprentice. Made famous by Disney’s Fantasia, Goethe’s poem has plenty of interpretive layers that extend well beyond this controversy, but the image is provocative–for me at least:
You created a monster with this “controversial signage” policy–and doubled down with an unnecessary (and unnecessarily cruel) “parental rights” resolution. And now, every time you try to cut the rainbow, you just end up with two rainbows. Then four. Then eight. And the next thing you know, you’re the butt of Stephen Colbert’s opening monologue.
The whole world is watching, and you look absolutely ridiculous. I’m aware that the “real story” is more complicated than Twitter or even CNN can digest, but the bottom line is that you created this mess. And we told you from the beginning that this was exactly what would happen. You cannot tell a whole segment of our community–who have constitutional protections as a class–and those who love and support them, that their very existence and right to be safe and comfortable in their own skin is a “controversial issue” that must be left at the door when entering a government-funded school building. Because ours is a glittery family, and every elementary school parent knows: glitter gets everywhere.
I know that some of you will say that if you change course now, it will look like you’re capitulating to some “leftist mob” you heard about from Tucker Carlson. That was the line from some of you when the Board wisely changed course and decided to feed hungry children at zero cost to the district. And while many of us who have been in the movement for LBGTQIA+ inclusion for decades now are politically and media savvy, and while Pride indeed began as a riot at Stonewall, we are not a “mob.” We are people trying to love the skin we are in, and committed to allowing and encouraging others to love the skin they are in as well.
We have Queer kids in this community and in every school in this district. We have Queer faculty and staff in every school in this district. These neighbors are not “controversial issues”–they are human beings with a constitutional right to learn and work without being sliced into pieces and parts and told to leave some of those beloved parts at home when they go to a building funded by their own tax dollars.
But slice and cut all you want–our pride and power will only multiply. These policies are on the wrong side of history, and while you will probably feel even more emboldened by the likely election results next Tuesday, I am 100% confident that in the end, the forces of love, equity, compassion, and dignity will win. You may be able to hold parts of Waukesha back a few years, but the world only turns one way–and only Superman can turn it backwards. And Superman, you are not. Superman seeks justice and saves lives; your policies are categorically unjust and are actively making death by suicide more and more likely for many of our beloved children.
It’s not too late to change course. You may think you’ll look weak, but it takes strength of character and courage to change your mind and admit you were wrong.
I would welcome conversation with any of you about the directions you are taking our district, and how we might work together to improve our kids’ lives and the image of the community. In the meantime, I remain uncompromisingly on the side of building a culture of love and respect where all of our children can grow into their beloved selves and into a respectful awareness of the complicated and beautiful country, world, and history in which we live. You are welcome, any time, to join us in that work.
Best regards,
Jay
Mr [redacted],
Despite all your ridiculous ramblings on Disney, Superman and the obvious TV you watch, can you tell me how the LGBTQIA+ students are not being served? Really, any actual example would be helpful. You make claims which are not reality and you, not me, tell kids they are not safe, not loved, not welcomed? I’ve actually never heard that from a Board member, administrator, teacher or any staff in all of the District. Stop spreading misinformation and untruths.
Please. Do. Better. (liberal sign off)
Anthony Zenobia
Mr. Zenobia,
I am dismayed by your lack of civility and respect when responding to your constituents. Your tone is unbecoming of an elected official, especially one whose solemn duty is to create a respectful and inclusive learning environment for children in this public school district. But I guess that’s just the state of political discourse these days, and my skin is perfectly thick.
As for the substance of your email, it is clear to me that you simply have not been paying attention to the parade of students and parents who have told this Board and Superintendent Sebert in no uncertain terms what it means for Queer identity to be labeled “controversial” or “political” and excluded from our schools. We have told you, often while choking back tears, what it means to have Queer kids, faculty, and staff to be told that their very identity is too “political” to be brought to school with them. That it sends a deadly cruel message for Queer folk to have spaces that were once identified as “safe” to no longer be identified as such. That it is targeting, triggering, and shaming to force kids and teachers to jump through bureaucratic hoops in order to treat each other with the basic respect that comes with calling someone by their true name and pronouns. That targeting the handful of students who simply want to play amateur interscholastic sports according to their gender identity, or barring students from using bathrooms appropriate to their gender identity, just to make a political point, is both distracting and potentially deadly. That banning or controlling access to media that you label as “offensive” or “pornographic” or “controversial” or “inappropriate”–simply because it honors diversity, tells true stories about our history, or gives voice to Queer identity–sends a clear message to our students of color and LGBTQIA+ students that their stories do not matter, that their identities are aberrant or their perspectives are unwelcome, that their lives are best lived in the closet until they get out of town. That saying publicly (as you do on your 2024 campaign page) that you suspect that attention paid to creating welcoming environments for Queer students is just “grooming”–as if Queer people are created by adult attention, rather than by genetics (or God, if you prefer). The “grooming” nonsense is particularly deadly because it gives truth to the lie that Queer identity is chosen/cultivated, rather than immutable (as the Supreme Court has recognized). If it is chosen, it can be un-chosen, or forced out (e.g., conversion therapy, or the transgender eradication movement [see Michael Knowles at CPAC]).
You are tilting at windmills to make some ideological segments of our community comfortable, and you are making life more difficult than it needs to be for students who just want to go to school and learn in their own skin.
And all so that you can make life more difficult in schools that you have *zero* personal stake in, as you make no secret of the fact that your own kids do not even attend SDW schools. Why you are so insistent on changing a culture that you have opted your family out of is baffling to me, but it betrays the fact that this is not personal for you, it is purely political and ideological. Which is ironic, as you keep saying that my friends and I are the ones bringing politics and ideology into public schools. For us, it *is* personal.
As I stated before, I believe the forces of love and acceptance, diversity and inclusion, equity and progress, will win eventually. The rainbow toothpaste is out of the tube. Someday, the anti-LGBTQIA+ movement will simply be a blip of history that our children’s children will be thankful not to recognize–a ghost story they can hardly believe was ever real. Clearly you have no interest in engaging in actual, thoughtful dialog, but you asked for examples of how this board and superintendent’s policies are hurting our kids. So I responded with the same litany we’ve been repeating for years. We keep speaking. You’re not listening. That hardly seems like our fault.
I’ll see you tomorrow evening.
Best,
Jay
